Well, it’s been awhile. QUITE awhile since I’ve been on here. My last blog post was about a month ago. I
think know this is the longest I’ve ever gone without being on here. And I’ve missed it. I’ve missed you all.
You see, summer fun just consumed us like crazy. Hubby, the boys, and I went on a few vacations. Played in some creeks. Took the Jeep for some cruises. Froze some sweet corn. Played with the cute kittens. Swam like fish in many o’ swimming pools. (And, our little guy passed the “Deep End Test” at Cherry Hill. #olympicswimmer) We. were. busy. loving. life.
The next thing I knew, it was getting close to mid August. Back to school time approached. Oh, I had many things to share with you all (especially some awesome fashion finds and favorites for my Fun Friday Favorites posts), but each time I went to sit down and type, something else beckoned me.
Then. School started last week and I was going to sit down and get back to work blogging on here. But. I had a few issues. Oh, yes, back to school time is fun and exciting. New shoes. New backpacks. New clothes. And a routine. Yah, I’m right there with the rest of the world ready to “get back into a routine”. BUT. Last Monday, when the boys were smiling and ready to burst from all of the “First Day of School” excitement, I had mixed feelings. Happy for fall to be approaching. Excited to see the boys grow and learn new things as they started fifth grade and first grade. Ready to get back to work myself with blogging and working on getting my book published. Yes. My list of things to do with all of this free time on my hands (Hahaha-insert sarcasm-) was a mile long.
But, I’ve got to be honest with you. I’m not always great with change. Last Monday was hard for this mama and so, I did what any good, self-respecting weepy mother would do. I partook in some retail therapy. People. Surely you know how joyful it is to buy a new top, right? Or a headband? Perhaps a great pair of Lucy workout pants? Yes. I shopped like it was my job because I needed something to do to keep my mind off of the fact that our boys are growing up so. darn. fast. And time just keeps moving on.
Well, though MY first day was weepy and quiet, the boys were back at school having a BLAST. I mean, look at this pic. Do these sweet little cherubs look sad? NO.
School started off great for the boys and I began to adjust to my new normal. And…Hubby was so supportive of my weepiness last Monday, that he liked all of the outfits I brought home that day. 🙂 #everybodywins
The rest of the week, we worked on the new morning routine. With Nate going to the 5th & 6th grade building this year, his school starts an hour earlier than Maxim’s elementary building. At 7:11, Nate is on the bus and beginning classes at 8:00. This suits him just fine. He is our early riser (just like his dad) (over the summer, we had to have the rule that you can’t get out of bed and watch t.v. until 7:00). Just as soon as I get one sweet one out the door, I go into our little guy’s bedroom about twenty minutes later and wake him up. Then, it’s breakfast for him, get dressed, brush teeth and do the bathroom business, pack a lunch ALL before he gets on the bus at 8:11, with his classes beginning at 9:00. Or drive him to school, praying we get there before the 9:00 bell. #sometimesiamlate Can we all stop a minute and say a silent prayer for this mom who has a two-hour departure schedule every single morning? Thank you.
We had a great first week and even with Hubby out of town for part of it, three nights of football practices, a fun Wednesday Night Volunteer meeting at church, and keeping up with meals, lunches packed, laundry, and so on…we all survived. Bless.
Saturday morning came and I thought going to the movie theater to watch “War Room” was a great way to relax and enjoy a Saturday afternoon. Hubby was working, otherwise, he would have joined us.
The movie was amazing and the lead actress, Priscilla Shirer, was outstanding! (She writes women’s Bible studies and her latest Bible study “Armor of God” is what we’ll be starting in September on Monday nights. Let me know if you are interested!) #armorofGod Well, the movie showed how powerful prayer is and it was just the thing the boys and I needed to hear. Prayer works.
Sunday came. Then, Monday showed up. And going into our second week of school, this mama was prepared again. I had our menu planned out for the week, groceries bought so that I can pack healthy lunches for the boys (Don’t judge. Lunchables are healthy because they contain about three food groups. I think. Plus, I DO pack fresh fruit, so that is putting us up to four food groups, if my math serves me right.), and I even started back up with my boot camp work-outs that had been put on hold for a few weeks.
Successfully back into the groove, but I still hadn’t blogged yet. Nor written anything that involves the book I’m working on.
And this morning, I was able to put my finger on it. I have been fearful. I had gotten out of my blogging routine and slipped into a comfortable, lukewarm lifestyle of not pursuing my blogging. My writing. My dream.
Surely I’m not the only one who has done this?
Start something, then life gets busy and pulls you in a million directions. And the next thing you know, you aren’t working out. (It’s just too busy. And I’m too tired.) Not going to church. (Come on, we need ONE day to sleep in. Besides, I don’t know what church to even start going to.) Not attending that Bible study anymore. (I’m not thrilled with what they are studying. It’s a waste of my time.) Not going to visit your family anymore when you have free time. (Listen, I only have so many hours in a day and I need to do what I need to do.) Putting off that diet. (I like my food and that is that.) I can’t volunteer. (Where would I find the time?) The list could go on and on.
Fear and excuses will prevent us from doing good things.
That was me. I’m too busy right now that I can’t blog and write. I need to get sleep and I can’t be up late/up early writing. I have so much to do around the house. Groceries need to be gotten. I’ve got too many projects to start that I can’t start one more thing. I can’t go work on my blog, I have a hair appointment. Can’t miss that. Have you seen my roots?
Oh, the excuses. There were many of them.
Then, there were deeper thoughts and reasons about why I hadn’t started blogging again…
Does anyone even care if I blog or not? Who reads it anyway? Maybe they aren’t going to like what I have to say? Am I going to offend someone? Maybe people think that when I blog about my day to day stuff, that means that my life is all roses and beautiful sunsets. (Surely you know that is not true.)
It all came down to fear. When something seems hard, out of my routine, not my new ‘normal’, I tend to run from it. That is why I was having a hard time starting back up on this blog. But, this morning, I recognized it for what it was. FEAR. And I won’t let FEAR stop me from being all God has called me to be. For this season of my life, I know this is what I’m supposed to do. Blog. Write. Pursue this passion God has given me with all my heart.
I remembered something Maxim and I were doing this morning that encouraged me, too. As he was brushing his teeth, we were reading the Bible verses that are taped to the bathroom mirror. You got it. Brushing teeth AND reading aloud Bible verses. We have a lot of talent in our house. ANYWAY. One of the verses we read was this: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13”
And I knew that today, I was going to start blogging again and put fear in it’s place. I prayed and remembered the verse and here I am.
I hope by being vulnerable and putting myself out there, you will see that yes…we all have fears. No one lives a perfect life. We have to remember that God knows this. And He is much bigger than our fears and ready to help us at any moment.
Does this speak to you at all? Have you ever felt this way? Feel this way now? Wanting to start something new in your life? Lean on God hard. He can handle it. And He will help you do whatever it is that seems too hard to do.
Thank you for letting me share my heart. I’m looking forward to another great year of blogging and writing and I hope I’m encouraging YOU!
xoxo ~ Angela Banae