As I’ve mentioned before, we have this week left and then, school is out.  And this past weekend, I felt like I was thrown off the boat into a churning sea with giant waves.  Oh, and there were sharks in that sea.  Or children.  Whatever you choose to call them.  And I felt like I was flapping my arms like crazy and trying not to drown or get eaten.  That pretty much sums up my parenting this weekend.

Here’s the thing:  with school almost out for the summer…sometimes, your own children can veer from being sweet little students to becoming so eerily similar to crazy sharks.  Preying on naive mothers.  Circling you until you cave in from the waves of this and that.  And then, they pounce on you and get whatever they want because you are too tired from treading water and don’t want to fight anymore.

We had a busy weekend, as usual.  And it’s swim season.  And our boys are like sharks in the aspect that they LOVE the water. (I always wonder if they’ll grow some gills by the end of a summer…that’s how often we go swimming.)  Well, swimming and summer and wanting less structure all sounded good until…this weekend, I was reminded that though we’ll soon be out of school for the summer, sharks children NEED boundaries.

I remember oh so well, when I taught first graders and when I taught third graders.  No matter what grade, they all innately desired boundaries, though they couldn’t always express it.  Yes.   Children crave boundaries.  And structure.  And consistency.  (That’s why a classroom with a teacher who is consistent is actually more beneficial to children than a classroom where the teacher lets kids run loose and is that “sweet little nice thing who lets anything go”.)  (That’s how I tried to run my classroom.  High expectations and structure, structure, structure.)

Parenting is the same.  I need to remember that as a parent, I must set boundaries and limits and stick to it.  Now, I didn’t do anything terrible this weekend as a parent and let our boys smoke real cigs or do other ridiculous things.  I just didn’t. say. no.  All weekend long, we were going, going, going.  Until 8:30 Sunday night.  And then.  When it was bedtime.  It all went bad.

Nate was exhausted.  I was exhausted.  Hubby was exhausted.  Maxim was the only sane one in the bunch.  And.  He is five.

Maxim went to bed like a trooper.  Nate, on the other hand, had a hard time and wanted about seventy-five bedtime snacks more than his normal forty-two bedtime snacks.  And I was spent.  So, after grumbling and growling and some tears (not from Hubby or I, but I was close), Nate finally feel asleep.

At the beginning of this soap opera, my bestie had called right in the middle and she reminded me that every summer, we moms all go through this “new adjustment period”.  Then, after a few weeks, the kids know that we mean business.  And we actually mean business.  And then, everyone is happy and living the new normal without tears and fits and tantrums.

So, from last night’s lesson, God reminded me how important it is to have boundaries for our children.  And when making boundaries, we need to have wisdom.  Wisdom to know what we should be doing to fill up our time and wisdom to know how to be the parent, not the push-over.  Which is what I can sometimes be because I want my kids to have fun and instead of saying no, I generally tend to say yes.  I overplan.  I overbook.  I run us here.  I run us there.  And by the end of the day, we tend to be flat out exhausted.

James 1:5-6 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.”

Yes, that was me this past weekend.  Like a wave tossed by the sea, running here and there and everywhere.  Not asking for His wisdom about what would be best for our family, just making a quick choice and doing it.  An afternoon of hanging with friends is fun and just fine, but by evening…me giving into our nine-year-old’s pleas and allowing him to keep going and running when supper is over was not wise…we should begin to wind down and have family time…that is when I should have used some wisdom.  And just said no, not tonight because we’ve been busy all day.

But here is the hope and good news!  The good thing is this.  Summer is just beginning.  I have a lot of time to practice what James 1:5 & 6 says.  I can ask God for help because He wants to help us in every single part of our lives.  He will give us wisdom and show us the structure that we need to have for our children.

One of my favorite verses is Luke 11:9 when Jesus says, “And I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”  Friends, when we ask for God’s help, we will receive it.  When we seek His wisdom, we will find it.  I’m going to be asking God for help ALL THE TIME.  Because His way is perfect for our lives.

I’m praying you will ask God for help when you are in need.  He shows us and then, we just have to listen….Blessings to you! ~ Angela Banae