This mug. #pray

Generally, I try to be upbeat on here and bring you important things like what cute shoes I think you need to run out and buy, a delicious recipe that you MUST try, or pictures of what our family life lately looks like. And while those blog posts are fun and very important, I don’t want you to think that life is all roses or that my kitchen is always clean or that “Geesh, Angela always has it all together”. Because that would be a big, fat lie.

On Saturday, our church had an amazing Ladies Brunch with Darcy Aune as our speaker. Side note…Darcy and I became sorority sisters back in college, when I pledged with my freshmen friends, in the spring of 1992 at Central College in Pella, Iowa. And now…years later (you do the math😉), our paths have crossed again and now, we are dear sisters in Christ…God is just so good to bring us through life and change our hearts to want to serve Him fully! As Darcy spoke to 253 of us ladies on Saturday morning, she shared how we put on these masks and act like everything is okay, when we all have things we’re dealing with. Struggles from the past or perhaps struggles in our present. And I’ve never felt more convicted than now because friends, while I want this Angela Banae blog to be a happy place out here on the world wide web of wonder where you find encouragement and joy and great fashion ideas, I don’t for one minute want you all to think that I’ve got it all together. Because clearly, I don’t.

Every once in awhile, we are thrown some curveballs. Curveballs in life that knock us off our feet and make us wonder “Lord, what are You doing?” And then, we ask for a new pitch because we didn’t like that ball. But God says, “I’m with you and together, we will be okay.” (Why I just used a baseball analogy is beyond me, but let’s go with it, ok?)

I’ve debated whether or not to share this because as of now, I don’t know all of the answers and I’m not sure what this path will look like. But, I’m going to be transparent. In hopes that you will be encouraged that in whatever life struggles you are dealing with right now…I want to remind you to cling to Jesus. Just like I am doing.

On Monday, April 2nd, I called my OB/GYN to make an appointment because I was having some concerns with one of my breasts. They got me in that day and she informed me that I needed a diagnostic mammogram and she set up a surgical consultation, as well. She was concerned and I left the doctor’s office holding back the ugly cry. Two days later, Hubby went with me to the appointment for the diagnostic mammogram and to have an ultrasound, along with a dense ultrasound. The doctor confirmed that there was a concern and it looked to be a papilloma. These are usually benign, but he referred me onto Dr. Reid, an oncologist doctor and surgeon at Mercy Hospital. Dr. Reid is an amazing doctor and he walked Patrick and I through what my next steps would be. I’d get a biopsy of this lesion and no matter what the results were (which he said 80% of these are benign), he’d be scheduling me for surgery. Today, I will have a biopsy done and on Thursday, we go back to Dr. Reid to hear the results and schedule the surgery.

While all of this is new and raw and I can’t believe this is even on my radar, I don’t know what “next” looks like for me. Of course, we are praying for this to be a benign tumor. And let me tell you one thing. The waiting is hard. Really HARD. The mind wants to go a thousand different directions and geesh, this is not fun. But God. I know that He is good and He will be with me and my family through all of this.

I would love your prayers for us as we are on this path that I didn’t pick. But here’s the thing. Taking off the mask is what needs to happen. I can’t pretend to have it all together and think that I can do this on my own. That’s why I’m sharing this struggle with you today. And that’s what I want to encourage you…we don’t have to be “tough as nails” and put on a facade that everything is okay. Is your family going through strife? Do you have a child that you are worrying about daily? Is your marriage struggling? Is your job situation causing you stress and anxiety? Have a strained relationship with someone? Worried that you haven’t been the best parent and you don’t know that to do? You all. God has grace for us. He has strength for us when we don’t have any strength at all. He loves us so much, but He doesn’t want us to stay where we are…we need Him. Let’s take off these masks that say “Everything is fine!” and let’s be real…we can’t do life alone. We need God and we need each other as prayer warriors.

I love what 1 Peter 5:6-7 says, “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time… casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” Did you see that first part? We need to humble ourselves to God. Take off that mask and ask Him for help. Then, we need to cast our cares and worries onto Him because friends…God cares for us. He doesn’t want us doing life alone.

As we go through these curveballs in life, God has given us prayer warriors…friends and family who will lift us up when we are weak. A dear friend sent me this verse to remember from Deuteronomy 31:8 “And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” Yes. God is with us. He will not leave us, friends.

Another prayer warrior sent me this verse from Isaiah 41:13 “For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, “Fear not, I will help you.”

My hubby has been incredible through all of this. He is being so patient and encouraging, praying and believing the best. Our boys are praying for me. And my family…they are praying like crazy, too. And I have dear friends sending me texts and letting me know that they are thinking of me. This is what life is about…helping each other.

If I wouldn’t have shared my worries with my family and some of my friends, they would not have known to be praying for me. Nor would they have known to send me Bible verses that I can cling to. This is the reward of being open and honest…you have a lot of loved ones holding you up in prayer. Of course, it’s awkward to ask for help. I haven’t told everyone this because I wasn’t sure the protocol…do I send out a mass text? No. That seemed a little too much. Do I blurt it out the minute I see someone? No. Because I’m not even sure what will happen next. So, as I’ve seen friends and family and if time allowed, I’ve shared my prayer concerns. And today, I’m sharing this with you because I would love your prayers.

But this blog isn’t just about me. I’ve always wanted to be an encourager to you, dear readers. So today, I ask you…do you need prayer? Are you struggling with something? Be strong with me and let’s take off these masks. Let’s be honest and real and lift each other up in prayer. Let’s cling to God because He is good and He will be with us.

Comment below with even just one word that you’d like prayer over. What can I pray for you today? Friends, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! (Philippians 4:13)

Trusting God and praying for you,

xo ~ Angela Banae